CP Online
CP 11/13 2:04 PST V666
Copyright 1997.  All rights Reserved.

PORTLAND (CP) —  Thursday, November 13th, 1997: Hilary Clinton
was photographed as shown while attempting to devour the vital
organs of a helpless woman who once owned a grocery in St. Petersburg.
The results coated a horrified crowd with a spray of hot blood as Hilary tore
through Mishka Syodnik’s abdomen with her razor-sharp claws, and
devoured her internal organs in a lunatic rage. The authorities were powerless to
stop the crazed First Lady, as she had reportedly been using PCP for
the past six weeks, in an effort to desensitize herself from ‘this
vile human colony’.

After razing an entire city block with what was described as “the
breath of Godzilla” by one elderly man, Hilary, apparently sated,
returned to her quiet hotel room, and left the “do not disturb” sign
hanging on the doorknob – it is rumored that she is busy watching her
eggsac, which should hatch this spring.

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